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When it comes to communication, there's a significant difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is a biological function; listening is a mental process and learned skill. Listening plays an important part in our personal life and workday. In addition to gathering information, it is a means to connection and rapport. Considering how important listening is, and how much of our day is spent doing it, we received the least amount of training of it in school. Think about it: most of our learning how to communicate was from reading, writing, and speaking. Why is it some people rarely seem to have problems with angry or hostile people? Or are just somehow better at dealing with them? These are the same people that get along better with most of the other people they come into contact with? What do they know or do that other people don't? It is how they listen and communicate. People who are better at being understood and trusted or successful at dealing with angry and irate people listen and respond in ways that promote understanding, connection, and cooperation. It's what I call Cooperative Communication. When people use Cooperative Communication, they experience fewer conflicts and are better able to resolve the ones that occur. How do people acquire this gift of a conflict-managble life? Thankfully, it's not a genetic condition. It is a skill that can be learned.
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