Erika Straub's Colleagues at Anxious Female
Erika Straub's Contact Details
N/A
Los Angeles Metropolitan Area
Anxious Female
Erika Straub's Company Details
I know how it feels to pretend to be someone you aren't. To be the cool girl who doesn't have needs and doesn't express her emotions because they seemed too big. To be the girl who feels numb. The girl who keeps her secrets safe because she believes they are her fault. The girl who is paralyzed by shame. You believe that if you hold it all together that self-love will find you. That you will finally be enough if you can reach the ideal of perfection. The trauma or loss you've experienced is begging to be released, but you're told how strong you are, only further validating you to keep on existing in constraints. You feel like a fraud, but you keep on achieving, hoping that with each goal you'll find fulfillment and yourself. You find that the achieving only leaves you empty. And this emptiness makes you spiral. You keep going and going as the anxiety starts to bubble up. You try to escape by setting more goals, working more hours, saying YES to more things, by drinking, by eating, by spending, by dating, by smiling and saying your fine. You even start to believe it until you panic. Until the overwhelm becomes the burn out. You have to find something to control within this chaos. To reorient yourself. You fixate on your body. Wanting to restrict and contort your shape into the size that will make you worthy. You diet and control your cravings, until it becomes too much to bare. You feel like a prisoner in your own body. The pain and the anxiety trap you. Your thoughts begin to catastrophize. The energy is gone and the desperation high. You're existing on the outside of your life and network, keeping everyone at an arms distance.Even when you hit the bottom, you don't quit. You know if you seek a little harder and hang on a little longer you'll understand the meaning in all of this. You know there is an urgency in you to rise above the experiences keeping you stuck. You want more. You bleed more. You crave more. I see you because I am you.